Tentacle fetish

Added: Atoya Parra - Date: 13.01.2022 04:06 - Views: 33533 - Clicks: 6239

Bizarre sexual fetishes are a staple of the human psyche--most everyone has them, and with the arrival of Internet porn, all the walls came crumbling down. Suddenly, everyone everywhere could share their sick, nasty fantasies with the entire tentacle fetish, safe under a veil of anonymity.

But the Internet by no means invented these things. As it turns out, they've been around way longer than that stain in your Honda. We love to mock "tentacle porn," and Japan for inventing it. If this is your first day on the Internet, just know tentacle porn is one of the Internet's most beloved methods of making young people terrified of sex, and it is precisely what it sounds like: tentacle fetish being raped by tentacles usually in cartoons.

The modern tentacle rape genre was created by Toshio Maedawhose manga Urotsukidoji "created what might be called the modern paradigm of tentacle porn," which we suppose in Japan is actually seen as an accomplishment rather than grounds for a sexual assault conviction.

According to Maeda, he started the practice in order to get around Japan's strict censorship laws, which forbade the depiction of a penis but did not forbid penetration by anything else. Bet they regret that. For men, the fetish appeals to those who enjoy seeing women humiliated and subjugated by something that isn't even human.

For women, the fetish appeals to those who've secretly always wanted to have sex with Squiddly Diddly. While Maeda may have created the modern tentacle rape, he wasn't the inventor--not even close. Maeda was preceded by Katsushika Hokusaian artist from the late 18th and early 19th century.

Hokusai was the artist of the "Thirty-Six Views of Mount Fuji," an internationally recognized series of prints that earned him fame both locally and globally. Also: he liked him some tentacles. Hokusai's "The Dream Of The Fisherman's Wife" is speculated to be the first instance of tentacle erotica, so by all means don't click that link if you're at work, there are children present or you have a soul. Handley attempted multiple times to publish some tentacle fetish it in England, even coming up with some of his own to add to the table. People were appalled--not by the tentacles, but at the notion that the women in the stories were actually enjoying themselves, because for some reason rape would make it much less disgusting.

Experts say that on the list of most frequent causes of embarrassing deaths, autoerotic asphyxiation ranks just below tequila and above backyard wrestling. While the term "sex accident" may sound awesome--like a high speed collision with a tractor trailer made of nudity--the reality of it is hotel staff discovering your body strangled to death and clutching your genitals in a kung fu grip. Autoerotic asphyxiation is just a big-city scientist term for "masturbating while strangling yourself.

Erotic asphyxiation goes back to the s, when it was used as a treatment for erectile tentacle fetishpresumably because the patient in question would rather be dead than go on living. If you're wondering how in the hell they connected "strangling" with "boners," the answer is every bit as terrifying as you're probably guessing.

The practice started when observers at public hangings noticed that male victims often sported an erection after death, sometimes even ejaculating at the moment of. Put simply, the foot fetish is a sexual attraction to feet, be they wrapped up in stockings or bare in all their sweat-pruned glory. Try to picture all the boners we just created. Foot fetishism has many forms, and can range from simple kissing and licking to full on penis massages.

Many celebrities are self-confessed foot fetishists, including Jay Lenoso if you want to take a moment and ponder that, we'll wait. And while there are many, many websites and lots of Tentacle fetish videos supplying wank material for foot lovers, you probably could make a good living selling the same material a thousand years ago.

These aren't for the beach. The first mention of foot fetishism we can find dates back to AD. Experts think the fetish got its start due to fear of STDs history records show a lot more foot lovers during syphilis epidemics, like those of the 16th and 19th centuries. Keep in mind that back then, pretty much everything tentacle fetish the world gave you some version of the tentacle fetish, let alone the festering bog of some peasant's vagina.

Clearly, blistered gangrenous feet were the refined solution, because you can't get AIDS from a foot. Or can you? We really have no idea. Some foot porn, circa As it turns out, the list of historical foot fetishists re like the A-Team of literature. Scott Fitzgeraldwhom you may remember as the author of that one book that you pretended to read in high school, had a foot fetish, as did Thomas Hardywho wrote that other book we didn't read. Know who else is on the list? Fucking Casanovaa man whose name has literally become a phrase meaning "guy who spends more time inside vaginas than outside of them".

There's no polite way to put this: Necrophilia is the fucking of dead bodies. Although considering the recent popularity of "vampire romance," having sex with a pale lifeless meatwad is apparently mainstream now. Those nipples might as well be dollar s. Psychologists have theorized that there are a of reasons why someone would be attracted to corpses, chief among them being the desire for a lifeless and unresisting partner well, duh.

But apparently the whole craze started the same way so many things start: with mummies. Herodotus the Greek historian who lived in the fifth century BC wrote in his Histories that, in order to stop people from having sex with corpses before mummification, the ancient Egyptians left them to decay for three or four days before handing them off to the embalmers. That's right: Necrophilia was such a problem for these guys that they had to take active preventative measures against it.

But that's not all: One legend says that after killing his wife in jealousy, King Herod the Great continued to have sex with her body for, wait for it, seven years. Considering that this wasn't really the worst thing he ever did in his life, it's painfully apparent that his title of "The Great" might have been handed out a little early.

Zoophilia, also known as "bestiality," is the practice of having sex with an animal. While it isn't expressly illegal in most areas of the world, it also isn't officially condoned, the policy apparently being "let's not talk about it and hope it goes away. According to this articlemost zoophiles experience the first stirrings of their fetish between the ages of 11 and 14, which suddenly explains the success of both Alvin and the Chipmunks movies. Zoophiles don't draw much of a difference between the affections of a human and an animal and, really, we can't see much of a difference between a pet and a ificant other--they both cheer you up when you're down and they both can be trained to lick your genitals.

As it turns out, the act of bonifering an animal may be older than recorded history, because it's really not all that hard to figure out just what's going on in this cave painting from Val Comonica, circa BC. And he looks like he's having the time of his fucking life. Furthermore, the ancient Romans' flirtations with the animal kingdom are near-legendary. This reaches epic levels of insanity when you learn that Roman women would often masturbate with live fucking snakeswhich were trained to "suckle the nipples.

The Roman attitude towards bestiality was so relaxed that many Roman citizens indulged in it, up to and including their goddamn emperor. But they met their match with the Egyptians, who according to the Greek historian Herodotus "mastered the art of sexual congress with a crocodile.

If you're reading Cracked, you're probably the type of person who already knows that sadomasochism was named after the Marquis de Sade. But he didn't invent it. One partner, the dominant, inflicts pain, while the other partner, the submissive, receives it. Tarquinia's Tomb of the Floggings contains some of the earliest erotic artwork known to man, and they're almost 2, years old dating around BC.

In addition to numerous depictions of orgies and guy-on-guy butt-tastic sex, we have a scene of what is clearly two dudes filling out one woman while whipping her back. Also, she appears to have bitten one of them in half. Tentacle fetish you have something funny to say about a random topic? You could be on the front of Cracked. Go here and find out how to create a Topic. To learn more about fetishes than you should actually want to, check out 5 Incredibly Impractical Sexual Fetishes and 5 Ridiculous Safe for Work Fetishes. And stop by our Top Picks Updated 3. And don't forget to follow us on Facebook and Twitter to get dick jokes sent straight to your news feed.

Despite its official status as a gaming platform, Twitch has grown so large and so weird that it has become a home for plenty of non-gaming shenanigans. For more than 30 years, Marion Stokes spent her life preserving media reports in the hopes of combating fake news. Continue Reading Below Advertisement. Log in Register Username. Don't make me do this again. Confirm Password. I agree to the Terms of Service. Add me to the weekly newsletter.

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Tentacle fetish

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